Despite Iran’s insistence that it does not produce enriched uranium at any State facilities, a covert operation was uncovered by accident in the town of Oopsamybad in West Azerbaijan.

When he went to use the rest room in the back of an out of the way falafel shop during lunch, student Achmed Halali encountered a tall man in a white coat and prominent radiation badge coming out. “Do not go in there” the man said with a half-smile, “At least for a few moments.” From the hallway he watched the man open a door marked ‘chickpea storage’ and briefly caught a glimpse of shiny silver tubes lined up along a wall with a sign saying ‘Enriched Uranium’ crossed out and in magic marker the words ‘organic chickpeas and maybe fava beans’ written in a ‘sloppy’ hand.

Halali, then tweeted his friends ‘enriched chickpeas: we don’t realize what’s in the falafel around here’ which was almost immediately taken down and replaced by ‘Chickpeas: the future of a national nutritional phenomena’ with a link to the Islamic Dietary Councils Food Pyramid.

Despite the west’s insistence on a ‘freeze’ on Iran’s nuclear development, the revolutionary Islamic council declared that the only freeze it would sanction is for the winter supply of chickpeas, a basic ingredient in falafel.

“Power has failed in the past and that is why we’re gearing up for a nuclear storage facility for the fava bean and chickpea crop” said Mullah Ishtari, “That’s all we want. To us, ‘clean energy’ can result from the ingesting of chickpeas by citizens and the ‘outgassing’ that results. All we have to do is control and harness that gas. We hope the International Atomic Energy commission doesn’t get too close; it could be fatal” he snickered.