Ancient cave drawings as old as the famous prehistoric art in Europe were found in Indonesia according to a new study that shows our ancestors were drawing all over the world 40,000 years ago.
According to the study published in the journal Nature, one of the Indonesian handprints, based on levels of decay of the element uranium, is now the oldest hand stencil known to science.
The Tea Party immediately sprang into action.
Televangelist Pat Robertson, pontificating on the 700 Club, home of recipes, prayers and donations, debated Mike Huckabee on the relative dating of the discovery. “I think the scientists were off by 35,000 years based on the bible” Huckabee said, “If man ruled the earth 40,000 years ago, wouldn’t we be smarter based on the additional time we would have had to learn more things?”
Agreeing with him, Robertson laughed, “If God had wanted us here that much earlier, he would have given us a time machine, and time machines weren’t around that long ago.”
In related news…..
The U.S. space agency (NASA) is spending $50 million to fund research teams that it hopes will provide significant contributions to its astrobiology program and planetary missions. The funding will be split by seven teams of astrobiology researchers to conduct studies on the origins and evolutions of life on Earth.
The Tea Party immediately sprang into action.
“I can unequivocally say that life as we know it did not begin anywhere but here” said ex Congressperson Allen West. “We already know where and when life began. According to scripture it was the Garden of Eden which we have narrowed down to the Florida Keys, maybe Duvall Street, but that was before all those gays took over. We’re talking about when there was no gay agenda.”
Ted Cruz’ office sent out a press release. “They would never find evidence that life on Earth originated on other worlds; that would be ‘bad’ science. It’s obvious that Obama’s people are behind this blasphemy. Look at me, do I have large dark eyes and a head shaped like an elongated cassava? No!
Scientists around the world agreed they would do what they could to elongate Ted Cruz’ head but it would not be pretty.
