Here's Lucky, the Wonder Dog, looking over Betsy the cat's shoulder at her food. As soon as we leave, she'll gobble it up as dessert. When we return home and see the cat food gone, we confront Lucky and say “Did you eat that cat food?” She'll lower her head and slink away. Years later, in the same tone of voice I said to her “Did you sell those secrets to the Russians?” She lowered her head and did the same thing. I guess it's all about the tone of your voice.

We believe aliens abducted our dog, because when we're walking and she sees the contrail of a jet, she tightly tucks her tail and pulls us homeward.

We figure she tucks her tail because that's where they went to get at her intelligence. I figured that even with the so called medical inspection, the trip had to be better than one of today's cut rate airlines, so what's she griping about?